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f 

SERMON, 

OCCASIONED BY TH£ DEATH 



MRS. CARILE MARY WHITMORE, 



WIFE OE 



THE REV. ZOLVA WHITMORE, 



WHO 



DIED AT NORTH-GUILFORD ; 



PREACHED AT 

EAS T-HADDAM, 

ow 
THE FOLLOWING LORD'S DAY, SEPT. 29th, 1822 



BY ISAAC PARSONS, 

TFNIOR PASTOR OE THE FIRST CHURCH OE CHRIST, IJJ EAST-HADDAM, 



PUBLISHED BY REQUEST OF SURVIVING FRIENDS* 



MIDDLETOWN, (CONN.) 
PRTNTED BY E. & H. CLARK". 



1R29. 



-3Xlx<*o 






TO THE READER. 






Is consenting that this sermon should be printed, the writer fears, that he is un- 
duly influenced by a regard to the wishes of the surviving friends. The occasion 
rendered the sermon, when preached, particularly interesting to those of them 
who heard it, and the same, it is hoped, will render the reading of it profitable to 
them, and to other friends, into whose hands it may fall. 

The reader is requested to bear in mind, that it was written in the pressure of 
the author's weekly preparation for the Sabbath, without the least thought of its 
being ever published, and that, with the exception of a few verbal alterations, it is 
in the same form as when preached. It would require no great acumen in a cri- 
tic to find fault with the sermon. Probably many, who read it, will perceive, 
that, in many respects, it might be greatly improved. In presenting a brief outline 
of the character of the deceased, he has departed from his usual practice in funeral 
sermons : the circumstances, however, of the case, not only warranted, but, in his 
view, required this departure. He wrote from his own personal knowledge, and is 
confident there is no exaggeration from the truth in any thing that is said, and that 
all her intimate friends would be united in testimony to its correctness. To them 
and to the people of North-Guilford, the sermon is respectfully and affectionately in- 
scribed. As the latter were but imperfectly acquainted with the deceased, some 
additional particulars will be annexed to the sermon, which, it is believed, will be 
interesting and gratifying to them. Should it be the means of consolation to the 
friends, and, in the Providence of God, be blessed to their improvement, should it 
be read by the afflicted people of North-Guilford, and be sanctified, in any measure, 
to their good, every expectation of the author, in relation to the sermon, will be 
accomplished. 

The Author 

East-Haddam, October 29th, 1822. 



SERMON, &c. 

GOD'S WAYS ARE NOT AS OUR WAYS. 

Isaiah lv. 8, 9. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my 
ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the 
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts 
than your thoughts. 

God is infinitely exalted above the comprehension of creatures. 
In his being, perfections, and administration, there is an immeasura- 
ble disparity between him and them ; — a disparity which will 
ever subordinate creatures in their spheres of action, and give to 
God the throne, and sovereign right to reign, as King of kings, and 
Lord of lords. This disparity is strikingly exhibited in the text. 

Thoughts and ways, in this connexion, as applied to God, denote 
the designs and courses of administration, which belong to him. 
They set forth the perfection of his character and the perfection 
of his administration in contrast with the imperfection of creatures. 
The disparity, which is marked between God and creatures, shows 
that their thoughts and their ways are unlike his thoughts and his 
ways, while, at the same time, the form of expression illustrates his 
supremacy and glorious majesty. The comparison is such, as 
awakens in the soul exalted thoughts of God and of his govern- 
ment, and precludes the expectation, that we can by searching 
find out God. The supremacy, which God here claims, is a su- 
premacy in glory of moral character, and a supremacy in perfec- 
tion and incomprehensibleness of administration. 

Creatures can claim no comparison with God, either in moral 
perfection, or in courses of conduct. They are finite in their ca- 
pacities, dependent in their existence, limited in their knowledge 



and mutable in their purposes. As sinners, mankind are selfisi* 
in their affections, and unholy and irregular in their conduct. At 
one period in life, they may see occasion to reform what they 
had done in some preceding period, or to deviate from the course 
of conduct, on which they had previously resolved. There is 
nothing like immutability of purpose, or immutability of conduct, 
appertaining to creatures. Immutability is the prerogative of 
God alone. His perfections render his purposes and plans of 
government immutable, and ensure the undeviating progress of his 
administration. 

In illustration of this subject, I propose, 

I. Briefly to notice the perfection of the government of God, 

II. To show, that the course of his administration is oft en in oppo- 
sition to the feelings, designs, and expectations of mankind* 

III. That we have reason to trust in God, and bow in submission 
to his will, under the most mysterious and trying dispensations of his 
Providence, 

I. / am briefly to notice the perfection of the government of 
God, 

As a Being of infinite perfection, God is immutable in the holi- 
ness of his nature, immutable in his designs, or thoughts, and im- 
mutable in the plan of his government, or his ways. He seeth 
the end from the beginning, and brings to pass, in the successive 
events of his Providence, the accomplishment of his own eternal 
designs. With him, there is no reason for change of administra- 
tion : to him there is no event, which is unexpected : no one which 
he did not foresee, and for which he did not provide in the council 
of his own will. As he from eternity comprehended all things, 
which are possible, and all possible systems of manifestation, so 
he from eternity chose and determined on that system of things 
and course of manifestation, which in his own view, were the 
wisest and best that could be devised. 

The government of God exhibits his conduct in relation to his 
creatures, and combines infinite wisdom and benevolence. It is 
adapted to the differences in the capacities and rank of creatures, 
and in no case, does it show a want of knowledge in God concern- 
ing the nature of his creatures, or a want of regard to their rights 
and happiness. In the exercise of perfect wisdom and benevo- 
lence, God holds continually in view the great end of all hi? 



works, and in different parts of his administration, however they 
are viewed by creatures, he is influenced by the same benevolence 
of nature. While all his creatures are dependent on his care, and 
receive their supplies from his stores, he upholds, controuls, and 
governs them in all their relations and ranks, in a manner, which 
wrongs no one, and yet secures their good as a whole. There 
is nothing in the government of God, which resembles injustice, 
or force, or partiality, or revenge, which are practised among 
men. He has respect to individuals, as parts of his kingdom, 
and in his dispensations towards them he has respect to them in 
their relations in his kingdom, through the whole period of their 
existenccc The wisdom of partic"l?r dispensations towards 
them, is often to their minds veiled in darkness, because they 
are unable to trace their connexions and results. Could they 
foresee the end from the beginning as God foreseeth, and be- 
hold the connexions in the divine administration, they would be 
enabled to form a more correct estimate of the perfection of 
the divine government. It is, however, sufficient for creatures to 
know, that God is on the throne, and that his Providence ex- 
tends over all. From the unchanging perfections of his nature, 
we may feel an undoubting confidence, that his administration, 
in all its parts, is worthy of his perfect character, and is moving 
onward to the most glorious results. The mystery, in which 
parts of it are involved to our minds, detracts not in the least 
from its perfection, or the certainty of its results. 

This brings me, as proposed, 

II. To show, that the course of Godh administration, is often 
in opposition to the feelings, designs, and expectations of mankind. 

We are distinct agents, who have feelings and desires, which are 
our own, and in respect to which, we have a consciousness and ac- 
countability, which no other agents can have. We form plans of 
conduct, and enter upon calculations according to our knowledge, 
and in accordance with our choice. We do not know the designs 
of God, before his Providence unfolds them in passing events, ex- 
cept in those few cases, in which they are revealed in his word ; of 
course, we know not beforehand the contrariety between his de- 
signs, and our own. 

It is often the case, that the course of his administration brings 



to nought the counsel of man, and defeats all human foresight, and 
human calculation. Man pursues a course of conduct, in regard 
to which, God not unfrequently finds it necessary to frustrate 
man's purpose. — Man designs to hring to pass, as the case may 
be, and often is, that, which God in his wisdom has designed to 
prevent, and instead of it, to bring to pass something very different. 
Thus Joseph's brethren designed to destroy him by selling him 
into Egypt ; but God designed to preserve his life, and to make 
provision likewise for the preservation of Jacob and his family. 
All the designs of wicked men are at variance with those of God : 
in relation to their conduct, God designs good, in the whole of 
his forbearance towards them ; which good enters not into their 
evil designs. 

The children of God, likewise ; they, who are born from aftove, are 
often, in this life, found indulging feelings and expectations, in op- 
position to the course of the divine administration. They fix in 
their minds some course of events, which they flatter themselves 
God designs to accomplish. What they consider as important to 
their happiness, they imagine God will give them, or if they have it 
in possession, they imagine he will spare it to them for a long time 
to come : and they make their calculations accordingly. How 
often do we see individuals raised up in the Providence of God, 
who fill important stations in life, and who are capable of extensive 
usefulness, and concerning whom, we entertain strong hopes, that 
they will be spared for many years, and in view of their usefulness 
feel, that they are necessary to the cause of Christ in the world ; 
yet not unfrequently, by the removal of such, God teaches us that 
his thoughts are not our thoughts, and that he can take care of his 
own cause in other ways, than by the continued instrumentality of 
those, on whom our eyes were fixed : at the same time, we are al- 
lowed to hope, that they who are thus called from important sta- 
tions on the earth, are raised to spheres of greater activity, use- 
fulness, and enjoyment in the divine kingdom. 

The course of God's administration is uniform amid all the dis- 
cordant views and jarring expectations of men. He is pursuing 
his own most wise and holy choice, without human counsel, and 
without turning aside in accommodation to the feelings and de- 
signs of an individual creature. We often view events as very 



desirable, which we are not suffered to witness : and, on the other 
hand, changes take place before our eyes, which we did not in the 
least anticipate. How often do changes occur in societies, towns, 
nations, and kingdoms, which are unexpected even to the wisest of 
men ! What changes are there in public opinion, what reverses 
in the condition of individuals in life, from affluence to poverty, or 
from health to sickness, or from the enjoyment of friends to the 
loss of friends ! Nay, what changes do we experience in our own 
feelings and opinions ! It is certain, that God's ways are not as our 
ways ! ! That which is dear to us, as life, and which we hope 
will be a source of enjoyment to us, for years, is often unexpectedly 
taken from us in the Providence of God; and, on the other hand 9 
the good, for which we have earnestly and perserveringly toiled, 
is not unfrequently withheld from us ! When our affections are 
centered in one object, to which our attachments to this world are 
all subordinate, and we fondly hope, we shall long enjoy this 
source of happiness, God, perhaps, finds it necessary to take it 
from us, and in so doing, he may design our good, with an heart 
full of love, though the way is in opposition to our choice. It 
requires but little observation upon the Providence of God to im- 
press the truth, that God, in his administration, moves on in opposi- 
tion to the designs and wishes of his erring and sinful creatures : 
and often das heshopesand expectations of terrestrial good; reverses 
scenes and prospects of terrestrial enjoyment; breaks up the friend- 
ships of earth; and, in this manner, causes his creatures to see and 
feel their dependence upon his care. Disappointment is un- 
avoidably attendant on all those designs and expectations, which 
are cherished, without an appropriate sense of our dependence 
upon God. It is certain, that God will bring to pass his own de- 
signs, and when they are in opposition to our hopes, defeat and dis- 
appointment are our lot. It is when we habitually hold ourselves, 
in all our plans and hopes in life, subordinate to the direction of 
God, that we suffer the least disappointment and the least diminu- 
tion of happiness, on being cut off in our hopes. 

I pass, 

III. To show that we have reason to trust in God, and bow in sub- 
mission to his will,under the most trying and mysterious dispensations, 
of his Providence. 

2 



20 

It is not to he denied, that many events in the present life, are 
rery trying and afflictive in their influence on creatures ; and as 
we have seen, they are often unexpected and mysterious. They 
teach us, that God seetk not as man seeth, and that his ways are 
not as our ways. But amid all the darkness attending the divine 
administration, we have abundant reason to confide in God, and 
acquiesce in his will, though we are unable to comprehend the wis- 
dom by which he is guided. We take only partial and limited 
views of the events of his Providence : we are in a great degree 
confined in our feelings and thoughts to the present time, and too 
often rashly form our decision of particular dispensations, from 
their immediate influence on our present condition. In this life, 
we see, as through a glass darkly ; we know only in part ; it is 
probable, that in the future state, we shall know more of the wis- 
dom of the divine dispensations, and it is probable we shall then 
perceive that the events of the present life, most trying to our 
feelings, were important in their connexions and results to our 
happiness. It is our privilege to know, that even now, while 
clouds and darkness are round about the throne of God, he is the 
same unchangeable, holy, and glorious Being, who, though his 
wisdom, and love, are in many respects concealed from our vision, 
will in the issue, give us to behold them in all their amiableness 
and glory. His administration displays a sovereignty to the view 
of mortals, which is a holy and desirable sovereignty, and which 
makes it necessary for them to trust in God, even when he gives 
no account of himself, other than, that it is his pleasure it should 
be so. The perfections of his nature, ensure the unchanging per- 
fection of his government. It is certain, God will always do that 
which is right and best. He cannot err, nor mistake, nor take 
pleasure in unrighteousness. With appropriate views of his cha- 
racter, and government over us, we shall not be left to sink in our 
minds, nor to distrust his wisdom under the heaviest rebukes. 
He is the same God in affliction, as in prosperity, in dark dispen- 
sations, as in those which are clearer to our minds. And we have 
the same reason to trust in him, in the one case, as in the other. 
The darkness of particular dispensations should not diminish, 
but rather increase our confidence, rendering it more implicit 
and child-like. It is not necessary that we* should be ascer- 
tained of all the reasons of particular dispensations. With our 



II 

knowledge of the character of God, we may be certain, he has 
the best reasons, and this ought to be sufficient to inspire us with 
confidence in him, and allay our distrust and discontent. He en- 
courages us to go to him in adversity, as our refuge and help. 
In no other manner, can we rationally expect light to break in 
upon our darkness, or hope to find alleviation to our sorrows. He 
apportions our mercies and our afflictions ; — our joys, and our 
sorrows, — He gives, or withholds ; continues, or takes away ; 
sends health, or sickness ; heals, or wounds ; raises up to health, or 
removes by death, according to his sovereign pleasure. At the 
same time, in all his dispensations, God exhibits himself, as the 
only Being worthy of our confidence, and adequate to our wants. 
I am God, and there is none like me ; / kill, and I make alive ; / 
wound, and I heal ; neither is there any that can deliver out of my 
handy my counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure. As 
the afflictions of life, being events of his Providence, are of his 
appointment, so our consolation in seasons of affliction, must be 
derived from him. If affliction drive us from God, we shall sink 
deeper and deeper in sorrow, and be more and more wretched. 
The proper use of affliction, is to soften our hearts, to reconcile and 
bring us nigh unto God, to rest in him, as our refuge and strength, 
and to derive from his grace, a power to sustain our sinking spirits. 
True submission to the will of God, is a source of consolation to 
the afflicted, which they can have in no other manner. In repair- 
ing to this source, they may find, and they will ever find, God a 
present help in trouble. Did we uniformly cherish becoming views 
of the government of God, we should never impeach his wisdom, 
or complain of his dealings, in the darkest seasons. Were our 
confidence in him, such as it ought to be, we could bow down sub- 
missively under his chastening hand, and say, the will of the Lord 
be done. But alas ! Where is our confidence in God ? What 
proneness is there in man, to call his Maker's ways unjust. How 
hard is it for selfish mortals to feel, that the Lord is good when he 
removes their comforts, and blasts their hopes. How natural is it 
for us to judge of the divine administration, from our own feelings. 
Oh ! How ought we to restrain such presumption, to check all re- 
pining, and to yield to God the throne, humbly acquiescing in his 
wisdom to order, and in his sovereignty to bring to pass, the events 



12 

of his Providence. Let us learn, christian friends, in whom our 
help is to be found. Let us repose a confidence in God, not to be 
shaken amid the trials, and vicissitudes of life. And let us look 
continually to his throne, in humble submission to his will, implor- 
ing grace and assistance for every time of need ; thus may we 
hope to bear the trials of life with calmness of mind, to walk se- 
curely in the midst of dangers, and to hold on our way unto the 
kingdom and joy of our Lord. 

APPLICATION. 

From this subject, they who appear in the house of God, as 
mourners to day, may derive consolation. The dispensation of 
Providence, which has filled their hearts with sorrow, illustrates 
the truth which the Lord by the prophet asserts in the text For 
my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, 
saith the Lord, Rarely if ever does any one fall a victim to the 
king of terrors, without leaving behind some to mourn in view of 
his departure. It is, however, to be remarked, that the deaths of 
some, are more grievous to the living, than the deaths of others. 
Individuals are not unfrequently brought forw: rd in life, in such a 
manner, as concentrates in them the affections of many hearts, 
and procures for them the general esteem of all their acquaintance. 
When such individuals are introduced to important stations in 
life, and called to act in spheres of extended usefulness, towards 
whom many eyes are directed, and on whom many hopes are sus- 
pended, we feel it to be desirable, that they should be spared, 
through the period of active usefulness : yet, how often does it 
please the great Disposer of events, to remove such by death, at 
a moment when we scarcely think that they are mortal. — In this 
number, we are to rank the wife of the Rev. Zolva Whitmore, who 
commenced her existence in this town, and during many years, 
was a regular attendant upon the worship of God, with us in this 
sanctuary ; who, but a few months since, left the endeared spot of 
childhood, the house of her fond parents, and parted with them, 
and a large circle of relatives, friends, and acquaintance, to enter 
on a more public and responsible station, in a new relation, to form 
new friendships, and to engage in new duties. We may well suppose. 



13 

that the sensibilities and sympathies of nature were excited, on 
taking her leave of home, yet, that fortitude, which not unfrequent- 
ly characterizes the retiring modesty and self-diffidence of her sex, 
in such connexions shone conspicuously in her character, and 
rendered her spirit buoyant and composed, amid all the tender 
scenes of parting. She left us in possession of the esteem of all, 
and with the affection of many : she went attended with the hopes 
of her fond parents, and other friends, and entered on the station 
to which she was called, to the great acceptance of the people of 
her beloved companion, and with honour to herself. Her introduc- 
tory and friendly visits, during the few months of her residence 
among them, conciliated their affections, and excited in them san- 
guine expectations of many years of pleasant and profitable inter- 
course : — but alas ! how vain are the expectations of mortals ! 
How soon are the fairest and most inviting prospects reversed ! 
Their morning, though serene, and without clouds, is overspread 
with darkness ! She, whom all desired should live, she on whom 
many eyes werefixed, and concerning whom many expectations were 
indulged, has been called to sleep in death ; nor medical aid, nor 
expressions of the tenderest affection, nor prayers, nor tears, could 
avail to rescue her from the grave ! The event is to our minds mys- 
terious, yet it becomes us to bow in submission before God. 

We may, however, sympathize with the bereaved husband, and 
the*dear people of his charge. We are authorized by the gospel 
to feel for the afflicted, and to tender to them our sympathetic re- 
gard. Religion in no respect blunts our sensibility to other's wants 
and sufferings, but improves it. Jesus wept at the grave of his friend 
Lazarus, and his followers may weep with each other over their 
friends, numbered with the dead. The bereaved husband, and his 
people, are in deep affliction. It is believed, that no death, in that 
flock and congregation, has occasioned more tears, or more sin- 
cere mourning, both on account of their own loss, and that of their 
pastor. To him the blow is inexpressibly great. The nearest 
relation of life is dissolved in less than one short year. All that 
was pleasant in prospect, is in a moment reversed ; and all that 
was delightful in possession, is taken away. The shock must be 
great— too great for humanity to sustain, without the aid of the 



14 

gospel. That gospel, which he proclaims to others, we trust, is 
now his consolation, and his antidote against despondency. 

To you, who are in the conjugal relation, and especially to you, 
who have been only a short time in the relation, this Providence 
affords instruction. Bring home the affliction to your own case, 
and see what would be your feelings, and what now ought to be 
your sympathy with him, and your prayers for him, whose hopes 
are thus unexpectedly cut off. Consider, too, your own liability to 
a like stroke, and live in humble dependence on God. It is only 
a short time, during which your relation will be continued. Death 
will dissolve it. And oh ! How soon ! husbands and wives ! how 
soon, must you bid each other farewell, and part, no more to meet 
in this vale of tears. Let your friendship be founded in christian 
principles ; let mutual love and kindness reign in your hearts, and 
pervade all your intercourse, that when you are called to part, you 
may feel no regret in review of the past, but be enabled to take 
an affectionate leave of each other, rejoicing in hope of meeting 
in a better world, to be united in a purer and higher friendship — 
a friendship to be eternal. 

It is the testimony of all, that this death is a peculiarly afflictive 
Providence to the bereaved parents. The whole strength of pa- 
rental affection in their hearts was centered in this daughter. She 
was their only child ; in this respect, their all. And what is pe- 
culiar in this case, she possessed those qualities, and displayed 
uniformly those virtues, which increase the affection of parents 
towards their children. It is, therefore, impossible that they should 
not feel deeply afflicted under the loss. The cord by which they 
were the closest bound to the world is broken. The prop on 
which they fondly expected to lean in the decline of life, is taken 
away. Yet these parents have no occasion to be cast down. It is 
the Lord who hath done it ; the Lord gave, and he hath taken 
away. They received this comfort from his hand, and, in accord- 
ance with his own choice, he has now taken it back to himself. 
While they have no just ground of complaint; they have 
much reason to be thankful for such a child, and thankful, that 
they were permitted to enjoy so much happiness in her. As a 
daughter, she was all they could wish her to be. The assiduity 



13 

and tenderness of parental affection were, in thii instance, re- 
paid in the dutiful behaviour, uniform kindness, and exemplary 
walk of the daughter. It was her happiness to conform to the 
wishes and expectations of her parents, and to avoid every thing 
in her conduct, which would give them pain. Rarely do we find 
a character, combining qualities so unoffending, and at the same 
time estimable. It is the satisfaction of friends to know, that she 
rarely, if ever, provoked the resentment of any person ; nor do we 
know, that an individual, either in this place or where she had gone 
to dwell, was ever inclined to calumniate her worth. Her course 
in life was exemplary, and governed, during several years, by reli- 
gious principle. Railing, and backbiting, and evil speaking, which 
are predominant in many, formed no part of her character. In 
respect to her speech, she was uniformly prudent. It was with 
her, a principle, never to say any thing that would be to the inju* 
ry of another, and never to act in a manner that would unneces- 
sarily wound the feelings of another. Among those with whom 
ghe had only a general acquaintance, she might be called reserv- 
ed in conversation : but with intimate friends, she was social and 
free. Her real worth was known only to intimate friends, be- 
fore them she put off the reserve and studied caution in speak- 
ing, which were purposely maintained in mixed circles, and 
disclosed those intellectual and moral qualities which constitute 
the life of real friendship. The consequence was, that they, who 
knew her best, thought most highly of her worth. 

Her religious character, it is believed, had been forming for se- 
veral years, although she did not make a public profession of her 
faith in Christ. Her views of duty, in this respect, were clear, and 
she was familiar with the evidences of grace in the heart, yet that 
self-distrust and fear to place evidence to her own account, which 
are peculiar to some minds, who in the opinion of friends are pi- 
ous, kept her back from this duty, and caused her to remain in a 
state of disquietude in relation to it. She was not contented to 
live in this state, for she acknowledged it to be a duty to own 
Christ in a public profession, and at times she longed to do it ; 
again, she hesitated and trembled lest she were not qualified to do 
it, in an acceptable manner : yet had her life been spared, it is be- 
lieved, thatina few months, she would have accomplished the desire 



16 

of her soul by openly entering into covenant with the Lord. It is 
consoling to friends to know, that her hope of salvation through 
Christ strengthened, as she drew near to the close of life, and that 
so far as she was permitted, at lucid intervals in her sickness to 
manifest her feelings, she was resigned and tranquil. But we leave 
her future state, as being to us unknown,— Still the evidence she 
has left of Christian character is precious to surviving friends, and 
in view of it, they may hope, that she has gone to rest, and that 
in the resurrection at the last day, she will appear among the right- 
eous. 

How much consolation then, have these parents under this very 
afflictive Providence. Their loss is attended w'th very many 
pleasing recollections, and in this respect, their case is different 
from that of. those parents, whose children are a living affliction to 
them in life, and whose death is attended with no consoling circum- 
stances. Children do not always prove blessings to their parents. 
Many a parent's heart has been wrung with agony at the undutiful 
conduct of his child. It is when children love and revere their 
parents, — when they conform to their wishes and fulfil their com- 
mands, — when they improve the privileges granted them, and 
come forward to be useful and respected in life, that they prove 
blessings to their parents ! — Think then, ye bereaved parents, of 
the goodness of God towards you in this respect ; and be thankful 
for the blessing you have been permitted to enjoy. And now, 
when God has taken from you this source of enjoyment, bow in 
submission before his throne. Come near unto the Lord with an 
affectionate confidence in him, and kiss the rod of his chastisement. 
It may be, your attachment was too strong, it may be, it was idola- 
trous, and that the Lord saw it necessary to your good, that it 
should be broken. Let the affliction moderate your expectations 
of enjoyment from the world, and bring your feelings into subjec- 
tion to the divine will. To the gospel of Christ I commend you, 
to find support and consolation. Go and spread all your sorrows 
before God, and implore his grace to strengthen you, and to bind 
up your bleeding hearts. Should this scene of trial be sanctified 
to your good, — should it issue in your holiness and preparation 
for heaven, you will have occasion to bless God, in remembrance 
of it : but, should you fail of a sanctified improvement — should 



17 

you still seek that enjoyment in created good, which can be found 
in God alone, your present sorrow will issue in your increased 
guilt and consequent wretchedness. — The Lord bestow his grace 
on you, and sustain you in all this trial, and cause it to issue in 
your highest good. 

The aged grand parents and the remaining circle of mourning 
relatives are, by this Providence, again* solemnly admonished of 
their frailty. The voice of God to them is, be ye also ready : — be- 
hold, I come quickly. And what, my friends, shall be your resolu- 
tion when thus addressed : — Has death cut down another of your 
number : one very dear to all your hearts, — one in the midst of 
life, one with fair prospects both for usefulness and enjoyment : — 
and shall it make no impression on your minds ? — Oh, receive the 
kindly admonition, and prepare to meet your God in peace ! — Let 
the affliction humble and soften your hearts : let it wean you from the^ 
world : and encourage you to greater fidelity in duty. Your hear (s 
may be filled with sorrow, and yet your sorrow be not godly e/ r- 
row. You may feel very tenderly, — shed many tears, — think often 
of the loss and worth of your departed relative, and yet not im- 
prove the affliction to your good. Unless it be promotive of your 
personal holiness, it will serve but to harden your hearts. Oh ! 
how painful is the thought , that her death, whom you Ul loved 
should serve to confirm any of you in sin. — May the Lord re- 
strain you from this sin, and sanctify the affliction to the purifying 
of your affections, and to the holiness of your lives. 

To this religious assembly, God speaks in his Providence so- 
lemnly and affectingly to day. It is proper and it is useful to attend 
to the instruction of his providence in connexion with that of his 
word. Death is not confined to the aged : — nor to the middle 
aged : — nor is it limited to the infirm and inactive. The young 
are often victims, when in the view of man, their lives promise 
much usefulness in their generation on the earth : but Godh ways are 
not our ways, nor his thoughts our thoughts. In the death of another 
of your friends and acquaintance, in the midst of her days and use- 
fulness, you are solemnly and strikingly admonished of the vanity 
of life, and of the uncertainty of earthly enjoyments. Youth are 

■ This is the third death in the family in the short period of about six months, 



18 

prone to flatter themselves in expectation of being continued in 
life, for many years, and, in this manner, they are often led to 
make presumptuous calculations on the future ! But, what is the 
roice of God in his Providence, youthful hearers, to you ? Where 
is she, who, hut a short time since, worshipped in this sanctuary 
with you ? with whom some of you took sweet counsel, and walked 
unto the house of God in company, who then had as fair a pros- 
pect of long life, as any one of your number ? — Go in thought to 
her grave, and be admonished of the vanity of youthful expecta- 
tions. Consider the intelligence of her death as her dying coun- 
sel to you, by which she urges you to be reconciled to God, and 
warns you against delay! Oh! then be wise in youth — choose 
that good part, which shall never be taken fromyou. Youth are not 
exempt from death. — Present health is no security against disease : 
- —pleasant outward circumstances are no pledge of life : — opening 
ai]\d inviting prospects are all uncertain ! For what is your life ? 

. {* is even a vapour, that appear eth for a little time, and then vanish- 

eth away. The voice said, cry. And he said, what shall I cry ? — 
All fit sh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the 
field : t he grass wither eth, the flow erf adeth ; because the Spirit of the 
Lord bloweth upon it ; surely the people is grass. Who, with right 
views of life, will venture to make confidant calculation on the fu- 
ture i — Who can feel, that he is secure in present friendships or 
present enjoyments ? 

Let all in this assembly learn their frailty, and in their friend- 
ships, live in view of their uncertainty. — Let us hold our near re- 
latives, — our houses, our children, our substance, ourselves, in 
subordination to the call of God — We live in the empire of 
death : — graves are opening on all sides of us — and diseases stand 
thick around— yet how securely do we live. The Lord have mer- 
cy on us, and teach us so to number our days, that we may apply our 
hearts unto wisdom. 



ADDITIONAL CONSIDERATIONS 

IN REGARD TO THE 
LIFE AND DEATH OF MRS. WHITMORE. 



Mrs. Carile Mary Whitmore was born at East-Haddam,Noveni' 
ber 26th, 1797. She was the only child of Dr. Jonah and Mrs, 
Mary Cone. In early childhood, she discovered those amiable 
natural qualities, for which she was afterwards uniformly distin- 
guished in her progress in life. As a child, she was pleasant, af- 
fectionate, and peculiarly docile in her disposition : probably she 
was more noticed, because the only child in the family; and 
doubtless she received more assiduous and perservering care from 
her parents, than would have been practicable, had their attention 
been divided among several children. 

They were early attentive to her education, and as the powers 
of her young mind gradually expanded, rendering her capable of 
receiving instruction, they were careful to instil a knowledge of 
God, and to form in her mind an habitual sense of accountability 
to him. As is the case with young children generally, she was 
more under the watch of her mother, and more dependent on her 
than on her father, for the first direction given to her mind by reli- 
gious instruction. The calls of duty in his profession, required him 
to be often and much of the time from home, which rendered it 
more impracticable for him, than for most fathers to superintend 
the education of an infant daughter ; yet her parents were hap- 
pily united in their views, and happily inclined to strengthen 
and encourage each other in rearing this pledge of their mutual 
love. 

Early religious instruction made a deep and abiding impression 
on her tender mind. She was peculiarly conscientious for a child, 
— afraid to do things, which she was taught were sinful, — and ha- 
bitually disposed to speak the truth. When she had done wrong, 
on being examined, she would frankly confess it, and was easily 



?e 



made to feel penitent on account of it. It is not recollected that 
Z w s eve, detected in a falsehood.. Her ob.ervat.on. upon 

show her knowledge of God, and sense of moral **9»+£ £ 
eariv period. When they had been do.ng wrong she would no 
fee it and on returning home, make inquiries of her mother, ,/ 
StiS« *~ *?<W- <*■,« *** could do sue 
thinss if Oay «&«**« rto» God »a S «/«>«>/* ^*<»g «i>°» them ' Her 

and in many instances, confounded her parents. Her childhood , 
corm x,on with the period of youth, induced them to hope, that she 
experienced renewing grace, when a child , wh.ch hope, her m- 
the. ntimated to a christian friend, who had been conversing wrfh 
daughter on the subject of making a **£**£*?. ™ 
, short time previous to her connexion w.th Mr. Wh.tmore. 

&c . Th.s circum ta ^ _ and when ques . 

contmuance at school, were y many valuable ac- 

OTatifvinc to her friends, one mere tonne j 

grauiymj, remembered with at- 

qaintances, by several of whom she ' s st ; re . 



21 

ed highly, and which occasioned her afterwards to speak of her 
residence there, with gratitude, as being a very pleasant period in 
her life. 

From early childhood, she had been taught industry in trie em- 
ployment of time. Few young ladies are in a situation more free 
from care and responsibility, than she was, while with her parents, 
and yet probably there are not many, if any, more frugal of time, 
and more disposed to employ it to valuable purposes. It is wor- 
thy of remark, that she had not that taste for vain amusements, 
balls, plays, parties, &c. which most young people have. She 
never sought for these : for she viewed them, as an unprofitable 
way of spending time. Occasionally, however, she mingled with 
her companions in them, either to avoid the appearance of singu- 
larity, or through fear of giving offence by dissenting from the 
practice of others. At the early age of seventeen, however, she 
deliberately came to the resolution not to attend another ball, to 
which resolution she ever afterwards adhered. In this respect, 
her example is not unworthy to be imitated by the youth, who read 
these pages. She was remarkably uniform in her character, and 
retiring and modest in her deportment. She never aimed to at- 
tract public notice, and she scrupulously avoided every thing, which 
could look like ostentation. In the fall of 1317, she experienced 
a season of sickness ; during which, her views of divine things were 
peculiarly delightful ; and though she rarely could speak of her- 
self, her modesty was so extreme, she once remarked to an inti- 
mate friend, that she hoped that sickness was sanctified to her, 
and that if she ever experienced regeneration, it was during that 
season. 

Her acquaintance with Mr. Whitmore commenced in 1819. 
Her modesty, which had always rendered her retiring and diffident 
of her own powers, was now to be tried in a new form. To Mr. 
Whitmore, as a gentleman and a man of education and hope- 
ful piety, she could have no objection : she was evidently pleased 
with him, as a general acquaintance, and she esteemed him for his 
intellectual and moral worth. It had been her resolution, for 
several years, never to give her hand in marriage to any man. who 
was destitute of religious principle : a resolution fraught with wis- 
dom, which, were it more generally adopted by deserving females. 



22 

would sare many a one from much disappointment and suffering in. 
the marriage state. The thought, however, of being united to a 
Clergyman was disheartening to her self-diffidence, and she could 
hardly feel it to be her duty. It was distrust of her own piety, 
which caused the most severe struggle in her mind, — a fear, that 
she was not qualified to fill so important a station, as that to which 
she was invited. Her consent, however, was at length obtained, 
and as the way seemed to be prepared in the Providence of God r 
for the consummation of their union, they were joined in marriage 
on the sixteenth of October, 1821, to the mutual satisfaction of his 
and her friends. 

She spent a part of the following winter with her parents atEast- 
Haddam, and a part with her husband at North-Guilford ; it be- 
ing thought judicious not to commence housekeeping, till the next 
spring. This arrangement enabled her to become more acquaint- 
ed in the Parish, at first, as it freed her from the confinement and 
cares of housekeeping, and afforded her more leisure for visits. 
They commenced housekeeping early in the month of June, blest 
with health, in prospect of as much enjoyment, as falls to the lot of 
most in similar circumstances. In the month of August following, 
it pleased God, in his righteous and holy providence, to send sick- 
ness into their family. A sister of Mr. Whitmore, while on a visit 
in the family, was seized with a fever, and reduced to a state of ex- 
treme weakness ; — for a time her life was thought to be in danger. 
Mrs. Whitmore, naturally delicate in her constitution, and tenderly 
solicitous for the welfare of their sister, spared no pains to render 
her comfortable, and to contribute to her restoration. The conse- 
quence was, she became exhausted by fatigue and effort, and at 
length, on the 10th of September, was obliged to yield herself up, 
a subject of the same fever. The news of her sickness was not 
unexpected to her parents. They knew her sensibility to the suf- 
ferings of others, her sympathy with friends in affliction, and her 
readiness to spend and be spent in their behalf; and from the mo- 
ment they heard that sickness was jin the family, they concluded, 
that in the event, she would become a subject of it herself. Her 
mother was in a low state of health at the time, unable to go and 
see her daughter, or to attend her in her sickness. Nor did she see 
her, from the time of {je^st visit in East-Haddam, when they 



23 

parted in health, without any presentiment, that it was the last in* 
terview they were to have in this world, although the feelings 
both of the daughter and the mother were peculiarly tender, at the 
time. It was the privilege of her father to attend her during 
some part of her sickness, to be with her when she died, and to 
pay the last tribute of paternal affection at her grave. 

On hearing of her sickness, her mother remarked to a friend, 
that she could not endure a course of fever, her constitution would 
sink under it. The remark was made from a knowledge of her 
natural constitution, and her strength to withstand the power of 
disease. The event evinced the truth of the remark. Her fever 
raged, till the powers of action in the vital system were too much 
exhausted to be restored : she sunk under it, and on Lord's day morn- 
ing, Sept. 22d, she quietly feel asleep, — we trust she sleeps in Jesus 
and is blest. 

The reader is requested to feel that this sketch is written for the 
benefit of the living, and not to eulogize the deceased. All that 
is brought to view in her character, which is amiable, lovely, and of 
good report, is worthy of imitation. And will not the youth of her 
sex find many traits in her character, deserving their particular 
consideration ? And especially will not those in the circle of her 
acquaintance, and those of the Parish of North-Guilford, consider 
her, as in this manner, speaking to them, and contributing to their 
improvement ? And may not the writer indulge the hope, that 
though she has ceased to be numbered with the living, she will by 
all these, be held in affectionate remembrance. The memory of 
the just is blessed. ^ 



NOV 25 1802 



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